The changing of names after marriage_ an overview
Addressing the issue of Pakistani women changing names on getting married, they usually replace their father's first name by the husband's, I am confounded by where this tradition originated, because it was not the custom of subcontinent, neither the Arabic norm and nor the western way.
In the subcontinent, traditionally Hindu girls had/have a first name followed by Devi or such similar second name, and now usually their family name. The Sikh girls had their names followed by Kaur, but now use Singh as well. The Muslim girls had their first name followed by Begum or Bibi, or another way was naming a girl with two personal names, e.g. Musarrat Jabeen, Abida Parveen. Sometimes addressed with both names together but usually with either one, but formally both written together. On getting married their names did not change, not even on official documents.
Then comes the traditional Arab way which we equate to Islamic way, since it is the way of Sunnah too. Where girls' and boys' names are preceded by the father's name followed by family name e.g. Asma (binte) Umer Al Harithy, binte being optional only meaning daughter of. Following that tradition today most girls and boys are given their first name, followed by the father's name and then optionally the family name/caste. In the Arab culture, the woman's name does not change regardless of her marital status, the only change that comes is an unofficial one, once the married couple becomes parents, they are addressed as Abu (father of) and Um (mother of) followed by the name of their eldest son.
Then comes the western tradition of first name followed by family name. There is an old English tradition of using the maiden name of the mother prior to the family name, only Bilawal Bhutto Zardari decided to follow this in Pakistan. In the west the women change their family name to the husband's family name, after getting married, as we are familiar with. But they do not adopt his first name.
Coming back to why women in Pakistan change their name by replacing their father's name with the husband's? This is not following any tradition, it is a senseless thing to do, and it is a very recent trend. Begam Rana Liaqat is an early example, while around that time other women were still following the subcontinent way. That is continuing with the same name as prior to getting married.
Someone may have thoughtlessly decided to follow the western way and caused this new chaotic trend. It is as confused as we are in other matters between the three main cultures that influence us. We continuously, but fruitlessly try to break away from our roots, our original cultural heritage naming it Hindu influence. Whereas right or wrong that is a separate debate but our actual identity is the subcontinent, which shows in our language, dress, traditions and customs. But we try to denounce this and try to adopt the Arab traditions as the Islamic identity,not knowing which is only cultural and which is actually religious, so wearing a garb of foreign influence, and lastly there is the global western influence, specially Americanisation, which we and other nations are paradoxically adopting and detesting at the same time. Hence confused hybrid Pakistanis, three separate traditions showing different levels of influence on different classes of society.
Girls today are realizing the error, some following Benazir Bhutto's example, decide to keep their family name. Others like I decide to keep their father's name, as my parentage obviously didn't change. Some husbands and/or their families have issues with the new bride not adopting the husband's first name. The reason I wrote this article is to look into this wrong trend and hope to set it right. But when something is already being followed by two generations thoughtlessly even by the educated and enlightened, I do not know if it will make a difference. Has anyone ever paid attention to this matter or thought something was being done wrong? Looking forward to feedback.
